How To Love Yourself And Others

Look into the wonders, mysteries and intricacies of love as we showcase a special three-part series made with Malaysian illustrator Beatrice Oh titled, Love: A Series.

Part Three: How To Manifest Love

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Love is a treasure that shouldn’t be hidden. It shouldn’t exist solely in your heart but must be manifested through your actions, little or grand. Love can be shown in many ways: through loving acts of service, dedicating time, affectionate words, thoughtful gifts, or a heartfelt touch. Whatever the form, an act of genuine love should be rooted in the selfless desire to make someone happy. Manifesting love, therefore, requires understanding what makes your loved ones — including yourself — happy. It takes time and practise, but you can be sure that it’s worth it. Make a habit of showing your affection with these tips on how to love yourself and others.

Dress yourself with a smile

Loving yourself is easier said than done. It’s a knee-jerk reaction to be filled with guilt or even dive into self-pity when we see our faults and flaws. However, indulging in these feelings will help no one and make everyone involved miserable. Loving yourself isn’t about turning a blind eye to your shortcomings but knowing that you’re still worthy of happiness and acceptance despite them. Dress yourself with a smile just because. Know that loving yourself is not about being perfect nor spoiling yourself but about trying to be better. Take this updated version of a piece of well-known advice: Don’t just be yourself, be a better version of who you were yesterday.

Bake it, baste it, roast it

Love can take form in food lovingly prepared. It’s often said that Asian parents may not express their love with words but instead show it through the delicious food they feed you. From thinking of the perfect recipe and carefully selecting the ingredients to cooking it meticulously and packing it, each step is made with love. Preparing food for loved ones is an underrated act filled with care, passion and warmth. Never underestimate the joy that good food brings.

Practise what you preach

Show love and compassion not just to yourself but also towards everyone around you, even to those who you think don’t deserve it. When blinded by disappointment and anger, let compassion take the wheel. Root yourself in humility and resign to the fact that you don’t have a full understanding of what someone else is going through. What you can only do to move things forward is to practise empathy and offer help. Break out of your own bubble and reach out. You’ll find that there are many who will appreciate your kindness.

Radiate light

The light you radiate when you spread love and positivity is unlike any other. You don’t need to spend a lot to achieve it. Even something as simple as offering a genuine compliment will make someone’s day. Create an environment that makes people feel like they belong and are appreciated.

However, spreading positivity should not be about pretending that everything is fine all the time. It’s not helpful to shrug off your and others’ anxiety and sadness. Listen, empathise, and offer help where you can. It’s possible to be both sad and hopeful at the same time.

Get creative

Pen down desirable traits you see in others and become that person. Imagine what a loving friend would be. Maybe you hope they would be someone who would send you a message to check in on you or that it would be somebody you can count on to be there in your darkest moments. Take the next step and pick up the phone and message that long-lost friend you’ve been yearning to have a conversation with. Show up when you say you will. This also applies to your other relationships: as a partner, as a child, as a parent, as a fellow human being.

Clear up mental blocks

Break down negative barriers and focus on showing respect for yourself and others. We may all come in different sizes, colours and backgrounds but we’re all equally worthy of respect. Lose the clique mentally and don’t pass up on the chance to get to know others outside your circle. Manifesting love for the world as a whole should start by confronting your prejudices and breaking them down. Simply be more open to other perspectives.

Once you are, it has a domino effect that will eventually make you realise and care that your actions can have an effect on someone — whether it’s the underpaid seamstress who has sewn your clothes or the underage girl who mines the powder for your eyeshadow.

How do you show your love best?

Here’s how you can find love.

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